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Dear Michael:
My doctor told me that I have to exercise. She’s pushing me to
do yoga (for flexibility) and weight training (for strength).
She also said that some kind of meditation would be good to
help lower my anxiety (I’m a chronic worrier). I know she’s
right, but I just can’t get myself to start any of these
things. I’ve never done yoga before and meditation sounds too
weird. I used to go to a gym but I just hated it and couldn’t
make myself do it so I stopped going. Can you help?
Overweight, anxious and stuck
Dear OA&S:
I admire a doctor like yours who suggests activities you can do
to feel better rather than just writes you a prescription.
Congratulations for choosing her! However, it sounds like
you’re finding it hard to take her advice.
Yoga is great for flexibility of the body and meditation helps
calm the mind. If you have anxiety or tend to worry a lot (as
you said you do), or if you find it hard to stop thinking or
overanalyzing, if you find it hard to fall asleep at night
because you have racing thoughts, yoga and meditation can be
very helpful. There are lots of great yoga studios all over San
Diego county, and most gyms offer free yoga classes to their
members.
There are many different kinds of yoga, each has its devotees.
Check them out and pick the one(s) that make you feel the best.
Be picky about teachers. Some teachers are supportive and
gentle; others are strict and bossy. Don’t settle for less than
a good “fit”. If you don’t really like the teacher, you probably
won’t go to the class. Set yourself up to succeed.
Meditation =96 like yoga =96 comes in many “flavors”. There is no
one type that works for everybody. As a first step, why not
google “meditation =96 San Diego” and see what you get. Unlike
yoga, meditation in San Diego has a much lower profile. You
have to work a little harder to find it. The Unitarian
Universalist Church in Hillcrest (619-298-9978) has two (free)
drop-in meditation groups, one of Monday nights at 7PM and one
on Wednesday mornings at 10AM. You can ask questions about
different types of meditation and get “instruction” if you
like. Another good place to learn meditation is through an
organization that specializes in it. One such organization is
the Shambala Meditation Group of San Diego, located at 3139
University Avenue (behind Caf=E9 Forte). On Friday, Sept. 29
from 7:30pm – 9:00 pm & Saturday, Sept. 30 from 8:30am – 9:00
pm they will provide a two-day meditation instruction for
beginners. For more information, call them at 619-437-7231.
Now, what about the good old gym? Many of my clients have
stories of their “failures” at the gym. You said that “I used
to go to a gym but I just hated it and couldn’t make myself do
it so I stopped going.” If you were my client, I’d help you
figure out what about it didn’t work for you THEN so you can do
it differently. Typical reasons for “gym failure” include: (1)
you tried to do too much/too fast and were overwhelmed; (2) you
tried to go after work but once you got home you were too tired
to leave the house; (3) you went alone and you really needed a
gym buddy for support and/or (4) you had no idea what you were
doing but didn’t have a trainer help you learn the basics.
Whatever didn’t work for you before, it’s important to get
clear on it so you can do it differently this time. That is, IF
you really want to go. If not, then all these suggestions may be
futile. Your motivation is the most important thing. Your doctor
may want you to work out, meditate and do yoga, but if YOU
don’t, then there’s a problem. Take some time to figure out
what you want and how much time and effort you’re willing to
invest to get it.
There’s nothing wrong with not being ready, so be honest with
yourself. If it’s time to pursue this stuff because you really
want to, then carry on. But, if you’re just not ready to commit
to improving your health, flexibility and peace of mind, then
don’t kid yourself. Tell yourself the truth and go from there.
If you still feel “stuck”, consider a session or two with a
psychotherapist or counselor to determine what mental stumbling
blocks stand in your way.
About The Author: Michael Kimmel, LCSW, is an openly-gay
psychotherapist with a private practice in San Diego, CA.
Michael writes the “Wellness” column for San Diego’s BUZZ
magazine Contact Michael at
http://gayfriendlytherapists.com/GFT/view-profile.asp?therapistid#100005
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid#151719
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